Relationships – You Have Great Power

You have the power to make or break people. How do you wield it?

Great Power in Relationships

How beautiful is the bond and trust that exists in a strong relationship, whether it be spouse to spouse, parent to child, or friend to friend.

That bond and trust also makes you vulnerable to being hurt yourself.

Marriage

Maybe you’ve experienced the pain and anguish when a spouse is unfaithful to the vows taken.

Maybe you know the loneliness that comes when your spouse is with someone else rather than you.

Maybe you know the physical and emotional pain of an abusive spouse.

Maybe you’re the spouse who is unfaithful, absent, or abusive.

Maybe you know the guilt that comes from blaming your spouse when the problem is really yours.

The power you have is your choice to be one or the other of the spouses described above. Do you routinely put your wants and needs ahead of your spouse?

Exercise your power to build up and sustain your spouse. Exercise your power to forgive and forget if necessary. Exercise your power to keep your vows, forsaking all other commitments, as long as you both shall live. To do anything less is an abuse of your power.

Parent and Child

You have the power to make or break your child’s spirit by your response to them.

Maybe you’ve felt the lash of an abusive parent.

Maybe you’ve known to pain of rejection or neglect.

Maybe you’ve felt the burden of performing beyond your capacities to please a parent.

Maybe you’ve felt the loneliness created by an unapproachable parent.

Maybe you’ve cried because your parent doesn’t trust you; and wondered why they don’t.

Maybe you’ve tried to be good enough to win your parent’s approval and never quite succeeded.

You have the power to neglect or build up your child. Do you react to your child in the same way your parents reacted to you?

You have the power of choosing to be responsible for seeing the fragile souls you created becoming competent, independent, adults; or you may choose to add another generation to the legacy of pain and neglect that has been your life.

Friend and Friend

Maybe you know the feeling of having a friend prove untrustworthy.

Maybe you’ve felt the pain, like the death of a thousand paper cuts, when a friend makes fun of you; or belittles your relationship; or misrepresents you to others.

Maybe you know how it feels to be squeezed out of a relationship and not understanding why.

You have the power of choosing whether you will do the same things to another friend – maybe just to get even – or of choosing to be supportive of your friends.

The Culprit

In all the examples above, the typical reason for the misuse of your power is “doing unto others like it has been done to you,“ a classic misuse of the Golden Rule.

Or it may be your misconstruing the rule to be “do unto others before they do it unto you.”

In either case, the baggage you bring to your current relationships from the past probably causes you to misuse the Golden Rule; and that baggage can be totally destructive to someone you love and respect or someone who depends on you.

There’s another way

You don’t have to carry that baggage around any longer. The baggage most likely manifests itself in negative thinking about the pain you felt from prior relationships. You get so caught up in reliving the pain of your past that it becomes the reality of your present. You can dump that negative thinking. You can start dumping it today.

Let Finding Personal Peace show you how to do that.

Use the power you have to build and confirm people, not hurt them. Make people, don’t break them.

God bless,

www.findingpersonalpeace.com

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I’ve said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends using the buttons below; and (3) sign up to get an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for our subsequent posts. Thanks again!

Relationships Can be Simple

We tend to complicate relationships. Consider how simple they can be.

Relationships Are Simple

Are you disagreeing with me already? We are created to have simple relationships. It is said that we should be like the sparrows and the flowers of the field who take no thought about themselves. They just enjoy being sparrows and flowers with other sparrows and flowers.

Well, that may be a little strange, but that triggered the thinking herein.

The Golden Rule

Remember the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

If we apply that rule to our relationships, then relationships become very simple.

We treat our spouse, friend, partner, child, as we would like them to treat us. Can’t get simpler than that, can it?

But, in practicality, what does that mean?

It establishes the direction of our role in the relationship. Realistically, we can’t control how our partner reacts to us. We can’t make them be a good partner. The only thing we can control is our actions toward them: hence, “Do unto others.”

And the measuring gauge for the “doing” is how we would like to be “done unto.”

Trust

Would you like to be trusted by your partner? Then trust them. Trust them in the here and now. Don’t keep a list of past faults and foibles. Believe them. Rely on them. Tell them you trust them.

Respect

Don’t you want your partner in the relationship to respect you? Then respect them. Respect their person. Don’t interact with them publicly in the same way you do privately. Respect their space. Don’t encroach. Respect their time. Don’t make excessive demands of time. Respect their privacy. Don’t share their personal details or the details of your relationship with anybody!

Dignity

Don’t you like to be treated with dignity? Then give dignity to your partner. Don’t make fun of them. Don’t belittle their accomplishments. Don’t gossip about them. Speak to them with dignity.

Honor

Don’t you like to be treated with honor? Then give honor to your partner. Lift them up before others. Put them on a little pedestal. (Don’t get carried away with the pedestal.) Speak of their accomplishments. Be proud of them. Validate them privately and validate them before others.

Be Thankful

The Golden Rule is not ironclad; but it’s pretty reliable. Don’t expect them to reciprocate right away and every time. Expect nothing and be thankful for everything you receive from your partner.

It’s too simple

Quietly and privately consider how you responded to each of these points. It’s very common to dismiss this as too simple. Don’t let your negative thinking waylay a good relationship. Finding Personal Peace is designed to help with your negative thinking.

So, go do!

www.findingpersonalpeace.com

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I’ve said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends. There are buttons below for Facebook, Twitter, and other social media sites; and (3) sign up for an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for subsequent posts. Thanks again!